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All posts by Peter Tryhorn

I LOST MY MOJO BABY!!

 

Where did we hear these immortal words?  That groovy, shagadelic, swinging spy, Austin Powers, saviour of the British Empire, if not the world, from the menacing clutches of Dr Evil.

I received a phone call from an old client of mine.  Actually he’s a man in his late 20’s.   I was seeing him as a young teenager for emotional disturbances.    He phoned me saying  “I’ve lost my mojo”.   I was a little confused at first what he meant.  In Austin’s terms it means the life force of his penis, his libido.   Essentially, this man has developed an erectile dysfunction.  He has difficulties getting or sustaining an erection, and with each failed attempt of intercourse with his partner, the more powerful this belief of failure and hopelessness it becomes.   We need to discern porn-influenced from anxiety-influenced erectile dysfunction.  In this particular case it seems both are at play, with the porn-influences as the primary factor, and the worries of compounding failure secondary.

The evidence is well and truly established people.  I’ve said it before in a previous post, porn viewing changes our neurology, and is a major factor in males developing an erectile dysfunction.   Adolescents and young men are presenting for therapy, albeit awkwardly, more than ever before with this condition.  They may sustain an erection whilst viewing porn, but are as floppy as a pancake when attempting real life sex.

So let’s learn to reset our neurology.   Once the damage is done, it doesn’t necessary fix itself by not viewing porn anymore.  That would be nice and simple, but it’s not always that easy.   Our belief systems have also changed, along with true respect for our partners.   Like anything in life, positive and sustaining change requires effort and commitment.   The help is out there.  Seek it.

 

Peter Tryhorn is a clinical psychologist in Australia.   He is launching a Beat Pornography Addiction membership site.   You can find his details at www.abacuspsych.com.au

beat-this

Reclaim respect for yourself and others

$29 per month

 

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HELP !! PORN STOLE MY MANHOOD

 

Hands up males 15 and older who have never viewed any porn.

I don’t think there’s too many hands raised, if we were being truly honest with ourselves .

This question does not suggest we deliberately seek out and watch porn, but simply viewed it, for any brief period of time.   It’s hard to escape.   It’s everywhere .  It can pop up on your computer screens without seeking it.    In fact, I vaguely recall once as an adolescent lad in the 1970’s I was watching a cricket test match on the television.   I think Australia may have been playing England as it was a dull and boring game.  Somehow the television station was metaphorically ‘hijacked’ and for a very brief moment a segment of porn was flashed on the screen.   It only lasted maybe 2 or 3 seconds before it was cut, but it is an illustration of how the entire Australian cricket-watching community was subjected to a viewing they were obviously unprepared for.  As a shy, awkward, unconfident young teenager, this was fantastic, and I remained glued to the television,  hopeful the station would be kind enough to show a re-run, much to my disappointment.   If this can happen in the pre-internet era on a television , what hope is there to escape unsolicited porn on a computer in today’s world?

A 2016 research article by Zimbardo, Wilson and Coulombe  indicates the average adolescent male, in this current easily accessible internet-era, has viewed about 1400 porn sessions prior to his first real-life sexual experience.   Isn’t that just mindboggling??  Don’t these boys sleep or go to school??   You have to wonder what the consequences of this is on their social-sexual development.   Well, the research shows quite overwhelmingly that enormous damage is done.   Of primary note, their libido drops way off and these adolescents have trouble developing or sustaining erections.  They can obtain erections whilst watching porn, and masturbate to their heart’s content, but in the real world they can’t seem to rise to the occasion.  A 2014 study found 16% of high school student who view porn on a weekly basis have low sexual desire compared to those who don’t view porn.  So it’s becoming evident a strong positive correlation exists between online porn use in adolescents and erectile dysfunction , which perpetuates and advances itself well into the adult years.  There’s a reasonable argument that the younger you start viewing porn, the more debilitating the consequences in adolescence and adulthood.  Indeed, I have a few current clients who fall into this category.   Healthy, strong young men, great physiques, who you would think by looking at them they would be virile and dominant in the sex department, however their marriages are collapsing as they can’t get an erection and share a sex-life.  Their wives / partners are at the stage they wish to start a family.  So you can only imagine the frustration, disappointment, anger, anxiety that results and takes over the relationship.  These particular clients of mine commenced viewing porn at age 13 or 14.

The brain seems to desensitise not only from our partners, as he/she is just not as sexy, beautiful, erotic as the girls/guys in the porn videos, but we also desensitise to the porn content itself.   What starts off as sexy, soon becomes mundane and boring.   Our neurology changes.   So we seek out more stimulation and excitement with our viewing.   It’s not surprising why some men get themselves into legal problems viewing the illegal porn sites.  It’s also not surprising that porn users report intimacy and attachment difficulties in ‘real-life’ relationships, social disconnect and withdraw, and too frequently experience the mental health disturbances of depression and anxiety.

So the question begging to be asked is, “how do men steal their manhood back”?  How are we able to reclaim erections and orgasms with our partners, something that had gone AWOL during our jolly voyeurism phases or years?  What are you prepared to give up, and obtain in return?  Come on guys, it’s not rocket science.  Obviously, changing those unhelpful behaviours, interrupting those patterns when you have cravings or urges, and, if in a relationship, developing a more respectful, healthy, and mindfully-enriched relationship with your partner would be a good starting point.   I’m not suggesting it’s easy, like beating any addiction, but it is certainly very do-able.   I think you would be surprised what internal resources you actually have and experience, when you develop a more positive sense of yourself, and wanting a different future.   The help is out there.  Be a man and reclaim your life.

Peter Tryhorn is a clinical psychologist in Australia.  You can view his website and Beating Porn Addiction membership site at www.abacuspsych.com.au

Reclaim respect for yourself and others

$29 per month 

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AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER

BUY YOUR COPY HERE

 

AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER —

Book by Peter Tryhorn

BREAKING NEWS:  Latest Ebook released by Peter Tryhorn, Clinical Psychologist.

Parents and teachers of children in elementary schools and kindergartens: have you struggled with your child or student’s odd behaviour, not understanding why he becomes distressed or disturbed in certain situation? Do you feel helpless, not knowing how to calm him, to make him feel safe and secure? Do you sometimes beat yourself up, feeling you’re a failure as a parent or teacher because no matter what you do, you can’t seem to make progress with your child? You know there is something developmentally not right with him, but can’t put your finger on it. Do you feel fobbed-off by your doctor that there is nothing wrong? Do you often receive good-intentioned “expert advice” from colleagues, friends or family members, but this only makes you feel worse as a parent or teacher?

If so, then this ebook is for you

“AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER:

HOW TO PREPARE MY CHILD FOR SCHOOL”

There is a paucity of easy-to-read material specifically aimed at parents and teachers, to help their young child experiencing developmental difficulties prepare for the social and emotional challenges of early school years.

Autism Spectrum Disorder is a complexing diagnosis, and often misunderstood.   We still have no true understanding as to the cause, and despite the many books by self-acclaimed experts professing a “cure”, the simple truth is ……….   there is no medically proven cure.    BUT !!!  there are certainly ways to help your child improve significantly, and live the best and normal life as possible.

There is no doubt that early intervention is of fundamental importance to the best therapeutic outcomes.  This fact is indisputable and well documented in every serious piece of literature about these disorders.  The simple rule is ……   identify the children early, treat them early, monitor their development, and when necessary intervene again and again throughout their development in many different ways, and hopefully watch their confidence grow beyond your expectations.

“AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER:

HOW TO PREPARE MY CHILD FOR SCHOOL”

….. offers you all this, plus more.

In this book, you will learn

  • The early developmental signs to look for with Autism Spectrum Disorders
  • What historically separated Autistic Spectrum Disorder from Asperger’s Syndrome, and why they have now merged
  • The three principle areas of deficit with Autism Spectrum Disorder
  • Simple, yet effective, interventions for parents and teachers
  • How to use visual aids for effective behavioural management and learning
  • How to prepare your child for first grade
  • How to help your child cope in the classroom
  • Develop your child’s social and communication skills
  • What extra-curriculum strategies are most helpful
  • What professional services should be involved

In my clinical experience as a child and adolescent psychologist working with a vast number of children falling along this spectrum, many parents are struggling, emotionally and financially.  They feel so overwhelmed and exhausted managing their children. They cringe each time the phone rings, fearing it will be the kindergarten or the school principal again, telling them what naughty or disturbing behaviour their child has been exhibiting, and that they need to come and remove him.  For many parents, life is hard enough.

These parents don’t want books that are too theoretically and academically written.  They don’t want to sift through boring text to find how to manage a problem.   These parents consistently tell me what they want.

They Are Desperate For Practical Solutions For Distressing Problems, and Strategies To Help Their Child Develop

Kindergartens and Day Care Centres consistently tell me what they want

They Are Desperate For Practical Solutions For Distressing Problems, and Strategies To Help Their Student Develop

Their “wants” are so clear, unambiguous, and simple, yet the literature is not there to support them.

So I have decided to write this book, and give them what they want.   This book doesn’t go into theory with any depth.   It doesn’t talk about drugs and diet.   It is simply a practical “How-To” book.

  • How to best prepare your young child for commencement of elementary school.
  • How to help the teachers put interventions in place which can minimise the child’s distress.
  • How to help parents manage challenging behaviours at home.
  • How to help the child develop social skills and social confidence.

Knowledge Gives Us Hope

No longer do parents need to live day-by-day, not knowing what is going on with their child.   Not worrying themselves sick about how to best help their child.  Not knowing what sort of life their child is going to have.

No longer do teachers need to feel unsure of themselves, not knowing how to help the child with ASD.   Not fearing certain situations where there have been unpredictable behavioural outbursts and emotional meltdowns by a child in the classroom. Not developing secret feelings of resentment toward the child for consuming her time, and constantly disrupting her teaching.

When you have this information, you will feel more empowered.   You will …..

  • Be more informed regarding best treatments
  • Have a repertoire of management strategies
  • Have a better understanding to ask targeted questions to the specialists
  • Like to share your knowledge with colleagues, family members, and friends

You might also like to join my network at abacuspsych.com.au and share your knowledge with other parents.  I will soon be commencing a membership site for parents, specifically for this reason, to share information, and have a common meeting point so many parents don’t feel so isolated.

ABOUT ME !!

Let me tell you a little about myself.  My name is Peter Tryhorn.   I’m a psychologist in Brisbane, Australia.  I have many years of experience with different government departments providing clinical assessments, interventions, and management for a wide range of moderate-severe mental health disturbances across various population groups.

For many years I have been providing a clinical service to children and adolescents experiencing mental health difficulties.   Many of the children I see have existing diagnoses of Autism Spectrum Disorder.  I enjoy working with the child’s social-emotional and educational deficits, and am frequently astounded by their resilience to somehow find strength and solutions to cope with or compensate for these deficits.

I previously established Contented Souls School of Drama.   This was specifically for children aged 6 – 13 who had been diagnosed with developmental disorders.  With the support of a drama graduate, we designed and implemented strategies to help the children develop the necessary competence and confidence to navigate their way through the often-confusing social maze of childhood and adolescence, and be best prepared for the necessary social skills of young adult life.

I am no longer operating Contented Souls School of Drama.  However, drama, in my opinion is still one of the best methods to help children on the spectrum develop self-confidence, and the skills to cope in social situations.  Drama helps them communicate effectively through body language, facial expressions, and the use of voice.

In my book

“AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER:

HOW TO PREPARE MY CHILD FOR SCHOOL”

…… I encourage parents to consider drama classes for their child. It is a wonderful medium to help your child develop the three areas of deficit

  • Social communication
  • Language
  • Imaginative play

I am confident that you will benefit from my book.   You will develop considerable knowledge and a repertoire of skills, which can dramatically reduce the distress of your child.

You may try this book RISK FREE.

I am so confident that you will be happy with the knowledge and strategies to help your child develop, that if you are not, I will happily refund you 100% up to 14 days.

You have nothing to lose, and a wonderfully nurturing future with your child to gain.

Embrace this opportunity and buy now

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Raising Happy Babies

BUY YOUR COPY HERE

Raising Happy Babies”

New book by PETER TRYHORN

Mother lays exhausted in the hospital bed as the nurses are bustling every which way around her. Her husband holds her hand asking her if she’s ok, and if there’s anything he can do. He feels so useless in this moment. Nurse Jenny is taking her blood pressure and asking her to rate her pain level from 1 to 10.

As if mom could really think of this right now. Doctor Bob pushes gently on her stomach, encouraging her with each breath she takes. But mom doesn’t hear a thing anyone is saying. She can see mouths opening and closing, and she’s aware noise must be coming out, but she’s not hearing anything. She’s in such a heightened state of arousal that she’s completely oblivious to everything going on, and just wants this all to be over.

Finally this moment comes.

Download your copy from SHOP section of our website.

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